He was Sometimes There, but I was Always There
by Dream Cager
Summary: Based on a True Story Bakura has hit rock bottom. He has no more options. He's dying, and all The Yami does is taunt and torture him with the past. Can he find what he really needs to lift himself up and live? Christian but for everyone


**He was Sometimes There, but _I was Always There_******

**Cager:** Before this fan fiction begins, I would like to say a few things.  First off, this fic _is based on a true story but the names have been changed to that of the anime characters' (and the Millennium Ring was never there) but I will tell you what they all symbolize in the end._

**Angi the Anti-Yugi:** Cager does not own the characters of Yu-Gi-Oh! or the anime kitties, so please do not sue.  She does not believe that if the person this story is about were to read it he would be angry with it, but if he dislikes it, she will, of course, take it down.  (She knows _he would never sue her for such a trifle as this!)_

**Anto the Anti-Seto:** Oh!  And this story is about Christianity as well, but that does not mean you ought to shun this fic just because it is not your religion.

**Antea the Anti-Tea:** That's right!  Cager accepts all reviews, be they questions, jeers, compliments, or flames.  (Actually, to those who would give flames, please, please put them in the review!  They help a lot more than compliments.)

**Jouti the Anti-Joey:** Now, please, sit back and enjoy the fanfiction.

**Ken Kitty:** And, please, give a big _remew at the end!  (Translation: And, please, give a big __review at the end!)_

**He was Sometimes There, but_ I was Always There_**

_Based on a true story_

            Bakura Ryou took a long, deep breath before taking a step up onto the scale.  His eyes shut tightly, his brow furrowed, and his teeth digging into his bottom lip were all signs of agitation and dread.  After a few minutes of mustering up his courage, Bakura looked down at the scale.  His mouth dropped open and horror filled his gaze at what he read.

            "_Only ninety pounds!?" gasped Bakura.  He ran his hand over his eyes to make sure he was seeing correctly but, lo, there it was.  A big number 90 was staring back up at him from the scale.  Bakura's legs felt weak.  He was __sixteen years old and he only weighed ninety pounds!  SIXTEEN!  And he was still wearing his Millennium Ring, a big velvet robe and his slippers on, too, which means his body alone would weigh only about 86 pounds!_

            "How can this be?" muttered Bakura looking up at his reflection in the mirror.  Had he not worn his robe he would have seen his own thin, pale chest with the skin pulled tightly over his ribs.  But he did have his robe on, so he could only imagine what he looked like underneath.

            _"Didn't you weigh ninety-three pounds yesterday, little Bakura?" taunted the dark voice of The Yami that lived inside of him.  Now Bakura wasn't seeing himself in the mirror, he saw The Yami.  In the mirror, The Yami wore nothing except the Millenium Ring, his muscles bulging with life as if to taunt Bakura even more.  _"And the day before, didn't you weigh ninety-seven pounds? Oh, wait!  You were wearing all your clothes that day, weren't you?"__

            "I might as well face it," moaned Bakura as his eyes closed in defeat.  "I'm dying, aren't I?"

            _"Now, I wouldn't say that... well, no.  Actually I would."  The evil laughter of The Yami raked Bakura's mind and soul with dread.  __"But, I must admit, Bakura, I've never seen someone dying as you are.  What it is you are dying from is what baffles me the most."  By The Yami's malicious smile, Bakura could see that he was thoroughly enjoying taunting him with the fact that neither of them knew what it was that was slowly ebbing the life away from him._

            Bakura left the bathroom then and tiptoed down the hall so as not to wake his mother but was surprised to find the door to his parent's bedroom wide open and empty.  Bakura didn't stay too long to ponder why she wasn't asleep but headed down the rest of the hallway to his room.  Once inside, he closed the door and locked it tightly before throwing off his robe and dressing into some clothes.  He made sure to get a nice, baggy pair of pants and a big T-shirt, so his mother wouldn't notice his skinny frame.  How long had he been hiding this?  He couldn't remember.  It seemed as if he had been doing this his whole life.

            _"We do know what's causing your loss of weight, though, don't we, little Bakura?"  Bakura tried his best to ignore The Yami as he fitted a belt loosely through the loops of his pants, but The Yami persisted.  _"All that blood loss every time you go to the bathroom?  In a few months, you'll only have skin and bones to weigh on that scale!"_  The laughter of The Yami vibrated in every thread of Bakura's being.  _"What do you believe is creating this loss of blood, little Bakura?  A bacterial disease?  A rare virus?  Some hidden genetic disorder your parents have kept secret from you for years, perhaps?  No?  Well, then,"_ The Yami's voice turned taunting, evil, and joking all at the same time,_ "maybe it's just an allergic reaction to something in the air!  Ha ha ha!"__

            "Ryou, dear?  Are you asleep, Hon?" asked a sweet feminine voice from just outside the bedroom door.  Bakura's mind broke free from the jeers of The Yami just enough for him to realize his mother had been calling for him well over a minute.

            "No, mother, I was... just getting dressed."  With a quickness that was almost astounding, Bakura was at the door, which he unlocked and opened.  His mother smiled up at him, apparently unaware of her son's dilemma.

            "I just wanted to know if you wanted me to make anything special tomorrow for Thanksgiving.  I need to know now so I can head out with a full shopping list."  Realization smacked Bakura Ryou in the face so painfully he wouldn't have been surprised had it left a mark--Thanksgiving was tomorrow!  Memories of the past floated back into his mind.  Each of holidays past and spent with his family.  It was painful for him to think that after this year he may never see another holiday with his family again!  Would he even live to be able to see tomorrow's Thanksgiving feast?

            "N-no mother, no," muttered Bakura, trying his best to keep the strain and pain from his voice.  "I don't need anything special."

            "Alright then, Sweetie.  I'll see you in a few hours."  She wrapped her arms lovingly around him and kissed his cheek.  "I love you, Ryou."

            "I love you too, mom," whispered Bakura kissing his mother's cheek.  He followed her to the front door and watched her as she pulled out of the driveway and drove on down the road towards the super market.  Bakura was now alone.  His father was away on business and his aunts, uncles, and cousins wouldn't be over until tomorrow or late this night.  When he closed the front door to keep out the chill of the late November morning an evil chuckle in the back of his mind reminded him that he was not alone.  The Yami was still there.

            _"You never told her because you were afraid of what she might think, weren't you, little Bakura?  Had you told her earlier of your plight, you might know what it is that is sucking the life from you now.  She would have taken you to the doctor for diagnosis."_

"I could go to the doctor on my own if I had the money," sniffed Bakura with a frown.  "My parents would never have to know."

            _"You don't have the money for a doctor, but you have enough money to indulge yourself with alcohol and drugs, my dear Bakura?"  Bakura felt his blood run cold at these words.  __"You spend hundreds of dollars on all that cocaine, didn't you?  Maybe even thousands!  And that was why you lost your job, right, Bakura?  You had to settle a deal and was late one too many times."_

            "I quit cocaine straight after that!" yelled Bakura as he stomped into the kitchen and got him a glass of water.

            _"You only stopped because you had no more money to buy it!  Admit it, Bakura!  That's why you stopped!"  Bakura gulped down the water and began to pace along the kitchen floor.  He denied everything The Yami was accusing him of.   He would not allow himself to believe that was the only reason why he stopped.  He wanted to say something strong enough to convince The Yami and, more importantly himself, that he stopped on his own free will.  Bakura wanted nothing more than to know he still had control over his own actions._

            "That-that's not the reason!" was all he could stammer out.  The Yami just laughed.  How Bakura loathed that laugh!  The Yami was always laughing!  But suddenly, almost as if he had gone, The Yami stopped.  He stopped so suddenly Bakura could almost swear The Yami had not been laughing at all!

            _"Money is not the reason why you've never gone to the doctor, is it, Bakura?" asked The Yami in a soft voice.  His voice was so soft that Bakura couldn't distinguish any kind of emotion in it._

            "What do you... what do you mean?" asked Bakura, still holding the glass in his shaking hands.

            _"What do I mean, little Bakura?  What I mean is, the reason you do not go to the doctor is not because you do not have enough money.  It is because you still remember the last time you visited a doctor, don't you?"  The malice had come back into The Yami's voice and a cackle of laughter burst from it when Bakura's trembling fingers dropped the glass._

            "N-no!  Not that!  I... I...."

            _"YES, BAKURA!  That is why you don't go to the doctor, isn't it?  That's why!  You still remember what you did, don't you?"  Bakura was cowering.  He could see The Yami standing right in front of him.  His sneer was almost too much!  Those sharp, knowing eyes pierced right through Bakura's and into his soul.  Bakura didn't want to remember it!  He didn't want it anymore!  Why must this dark being torture him so?_

            _"You made a mistake but you didn't want to live with it, did you?  So you talked her into doing something she didn't want at first.  She did it anyway!  Now you must live with what you both did!  The killing of a child that never even had a chance to look upon the earth!"_

"NO!  You're wrong!" yelled Bakura.  The Yami was wrong!  HE WAS WRONG!  He _had_ to be wrong!  "Abortion isn't murder!  A baby isn't even alive then!"

            _"Of course it is alive!  Name one thing that eats and is considered nonliving?"_

"Well... well," Bakura was now getting desperate.  "It still isn't murder!"

            _"Oh, but you are wrong my sweet, innocent, little Bakura.  So deliciously wrong!  Murder is exactly what it is!  The only difference is this--The baby never even has a chance!  Who knows what that child could have accomplished?  Maybe he would have been the scientist who finds the cure for Ebola?  Maybe she would have been the first woman president of the United States?  Someone may know, but you never will!  Ha ha ha!  NEVER!!!"  Bakura couldn't take it any longer!  With a loud cry of anguish and pain, he ran from the kitchen and threw himself into his room.  He slammed the door shut and locked it, but the laugh of The Yami still echoed in his mind._

            _"It is no use, Bakura!  I was there when you did all those things!  I was there during all the bad times!  You can try to bury those thoughts in your mind forever, but I will always come back to remind you of them!  You cannot hide from me when I wish to be known to you!"_

            "When I was a child you were never able to touch me!" cried Bakura as tears ran down his cheeks.  The Yami scoffed.

            _"When you were a child you were protected in your innocence by grace!  You are no longer innocent, so the grace cannot cover you now!  I will remain to torment you for the rest of your days (which does not seem to be much longer!) and when you die, I will be there to torment you, along with all the other demons you have hidden away in your soul!"_

            "NOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Bakura grabbing the Millennium Ring so hard he broke the chain and then flung it across the room.  It hit a lamp on his nightstand which fell over and busted while knocking a book from the stand to the floor.  Bakura fell on his knees, buried his face in his hands and wept.  He knew that the Millennium Ring would come back to him eventually but for now it was away and The Yami's laugh could not torment him.

            Bakura let himself cry.  He hated crying like this but it was all he could seem to do.  The tears that ran down his cheeks were hot and they stung.  The sobs made his body tremble in pain and his head was pounding like a drum.  Slowly, after a few minutes, Bakura stopped crying and wiped the tears away from his eyes.  He sat up and took a deep breath, so deep it almost led to more tears.

            "I'm dying, that's all there is to it," muttered Bakura out loud to himself.  A tear slipped silently down his cheek.  "My life will soon be over... but does it matter?  All I have is pain, and pain is all I have to look forward to!"  More tears fell down his cheeks but he was no longer sobbing.  Then, through the tears, something caught Bakura's eye.  He wiped them away and crawled forward on the floor to see what it was and found it was a book.  It was the book that had fallen off his nightstand when the lamp had broken.  Bakura gulped down the thickness in his throat and placed the book on his bed face up.

            "My Bible?" croaked out Bakura as he gently opened it up.  He had been brought up in the church for his entire life.  As he had grown, he had learned exactly what to do and when to do it and what to say when at church.  He had learned the rules of the game and he played them.  He played them well.  He had never taken it seriously but today he wanted to do something to take off his mind from his dilemma.  Reading the Bible would probably help him to get his mind off it.  When it opened up to Psalms, he just chose a paragraph and started to read.

            " 'Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.  Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death'...."  Bakura's voice died on his lips.  He reread the lines that he had just said and sat there amazed.  He had been told of things like this ever since before he could remember.  He hadn't really believed it, because it was just too tremendous to be real, but now, with death looming over him, Bakura wasn't so sure.  Bakura knew that premarital sex, consuming alcohol and drugs, as well as abortion were all considered sins.  He was sinning right now, lying to his mother and hiding his condition from her.

            "Jesus forever forgives us of our sins."  That's what his mother used to always say.  All you need is Jesus, the man who was beaten, spit upon, jeered at, and nailed to a cross of shame and hate, to be forever free.  Bakura suddenly wanted that.  He wanted to be free of his torment.  He wanted to be free of the pain.  Free of The Yami, that demon who push and pulled at his strings all day like a puppet.  Free!  Totally and completely free!  He had hit rock bottom--This was his only hope for getting out of the slick, muddy hole that he had dug by himself with his own two bare hands.

            So Bakura, already kneeling at the side of his bed, closed his eye, bowed his head, clasped his hands together and began to pray.  He prayed that God would please forgive him!  Forgive him for all the pain he had caused, for his drug abuse, and for his alcoholism.  He wanted forgiveness for the long time it had taken him to see that this truly was the way.  He asked for forgiveness from living the life of a liar, for just playing the game.  He now saw the truth and he begged that God would give him peace.  He asked that God would take all his tears and suffering, all his sadness and pain, and throw it all away so that he would live a good, wholesome life according to God's will and to his way.  He thanked God for giving up his own son, Jesus Christ, so that he could live with him in heaven.  He prayed that God would allow him to follow Jesus.  And, lastly, he prayed for God to let him to live, so that he could have another chance to make up for all the bad he had done.  Amen....

            Suddenly, new tears burst forth from Bakura's eyes.  These tears, unlike the ones he had shed earlier, were cool to his cheeks and seemed to take away his pain with them.  He felt his back ease from tension into comfort, as if the weight of the world had been taken from his shoulders and allowed him to walk free.  But most amazing of all, Bakura felt something happen inside of him.  A Lightness filled him and a happiness flowed from his heart.  He didn't know how, but he knew he was cured of whatever it was that had been killing him.  He knew it was all gone and he would never have to face it again!

            Bakura felt like laughing, crying, dancing and singing all at the same time!  He felt a presence in that room that he had never felt before in his entire life!  It was amazing and intoxicating!  Bakura then heard a noise outside the house.  It was his mother's car!  She was home!  Bakura was so happy because now he could tell someone about what he was feeling.  He grabbed up his Bible and stood up but halfway through turning around to the door, something caught his eye.  On his nightstand were the broken pieces of what was once his Millennium Ring.

            Puzzled, Bakura picked up one of the pieces and began to examine it.  He had thrown the Millennium Ring many times before and at harder things than a glass lamp.  How come it broke?  Bakura realized what had happened almost instantly.  It was gone because God had destroyed it.  Jesus' love was what had banished the demon of sin from Bakura forever.  With a smile, Bakura watched as the pieces of the puzzle disintegrated into dust and then melted away into nothing.

            _God has set me free, thought Bakura with a smile.  __He forgave me of everything, and that is much more than what The Yami did for me.  If God loves me enough to forgive me of all I've done and give me back the life I almost lost, then He is more of a God than anyone could ever preach about.  I promised him I'd do whatever He asked me.  I promised to do His will and I am sticking to that promise.  He deserves my devotion more than I deserve His love.  Still, He loved me enough to wait for my devotion.  Now that....__ is just amazing.  And to think... my answer to life was in Him all along...._

**The End**

**Notes from Cager:  **This was a true story based on a real person.  That person is **K.P. Westmoreland **(portrayed as Bakura).  He is now a traveling Youth Minister and has been in almost every one of the United States and has even ministered in China.  He now has a wife named Teri and they have two children.  This is K.P's testimony.  K.P. has said that every day he is haunted by the abortion he talked the girl into but God reminds him each day that he is forgiven for all the sins that he has committed.  To this day, K.P. is still unsure about what it was that made him loose blood, but after the day he knelt at his bed and prayed for forgiveness he has never had a problem like that since!  Praise God!

            The Millennium Ring represents the **sin** that was in his life.  K.P. wore that sin with him everywhere and was unable to get rid of it, just as Bakura could not seem to keep it away from him.  It kept coming back, but after accepting Jesus, K.P. was able to put it behind him and get on with his life, just as Bakura had allowed his Ring to disappear.

            The Yami represents the great demon himself, **Satan**.  Satan, just like The Yami, will take all that you have done wrong and beat it in your face until you fall over and then stomp on you until you're completely flat.  He will tempt and taunt you constantly and he will never completely leave you alone.  He really likes to go after you when you are unstable and despairing, like when The Yami attacked Bakura about the drugs, alcohol and abortion.  With prayer, God was able to send the demon away and K.P. was able to finally say he was free.

            As you can guess, this fan fiction had a little bit added to it.  K.P. never physically talked to Satan (at least as far as I know) and he didn't ever read those verses from Psalms 68:19 and 20 that day but the rest was completely true.  It was either the Eve or day of Thanksgiving, his mother was either shopping or cooking, and he was truly alone in his room, kneeling at his bed praying when the change came over him.  He really did grow up in a church, but he never really believed in it and played the part like a seasoned actor.  He also really did drink, have that unknown disease, have pre-marital sex, and talk the girl into abortion.  He even was once addicted to cocaine, but after praying, he had no problems with it ever again!  God really did forgive him and he still lives today.

            This story also tells you about how you don't have to come to Christ at church, kneeling at an altar.  K.P. got saved in his own bedroom.  My church pastor got saved at a football stadium!  I was saved during one of K.P's Youth Rallies.  This all goes to show you, God does not care how you come to him or what you did before.  God will forgive you and accept you, just because he loves you.

            Thank you for reading my fan fiction and I hope you all learned a special lesson from this.  I'm thinking about starting a whole series on real-life stories placed into anime character's lives for easier understanding.  Please, pray for me and remember that God loves you, no matter what you have done.

            Signing off:  The Cager.


End file.
